a year ago today...

... I was interviewing at a school called Hope near the shore of Lake Michigan.

The details I remember best about that visit (which was my first of 5 in a 2 week time period) are as follows:
1) the detour to see Lake Michigan on the way from the airport to the college - i finally understood why people call the shore there a beach - it is beautiful...
2) dinner with students - twas good conversation
3) questions from those students after my seminar
These are still probably my favorite things here - the lake, the students, teaching...

I can't believe it was a year ago - in most ways it seems so much longer ago, but in other ways shorter...
I think it is good to look back and remember.
To look back and see the ways God has been at work, to see the ways you've grown, to give thanks...
Though it seems a lot longer ago, I think it is still too near to really process.
I think my roots are still too raw to examine.
And I think when I look back right now, I'm reminded that it is ok that they are raw.
They've been through a lot.
So, if the purpose of my remembering reminds me to give grace to myself - then that alone is good.

I chose to seek out for more, for what God had next,
and I never really wanted to leave my home and community,
I never really have looked for a move because I wanted to leave where I was.
I chose to knock and listen for the answer of yes or no
instead doors opened
it was overwhelming
and awefull
and awful

5 days after my interview, they called with a job offer.
By Thanksgiving things were settled - Hope.
I was thankful and excited.
Perhaps mainly because the search was over and I could focus on life now,
but the cloud of what was to come loomed over the months as I prepared for my move to Michigan.


I've now been living here for almost 4 months - some things have moved faster than others.

The job is a whirlwind.

The replanting of my roots is slow.

They are still on the surface of the soil of this new place
- exposed, sensitive, seeking, frustrated, thirsty, aching...

but hope remains
and I remain in and at hope